Life Undone

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and
nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to
the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window
to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was
inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the
nature. Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl
trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from
her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a
similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a
software engineer. .. I have everything which a common man would envy;
money, status, respect, you name it I have it. I always wanted to be
software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms
in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint
of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my
past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.


My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those
rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to
all the stories told by her. Now, I have a big house here, but then it
is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now.
I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss
those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford
to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food
there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared
by my mother.


I threw a la vish party for my colleagues for my birthday,
but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly
brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on
my face. The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just
to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never
give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.


The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the
day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, she has
gone far away from me, taking away my love and with it my life, but I am
sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet
new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.

It's true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice
bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it
with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body.Awards for
technical
excellence, but no
reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a
reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the
farthest distance.

Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the
rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the
comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I
lost a long time back. I have decided to come out of this false fantasy,
even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer.
I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and
play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer
to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I
slowly opened notes and I found a message from my manager with an
attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I
have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get
bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored
the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the
software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect
tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing ......